I can’t believe

I can’t believe it’s been almost exactly one year since I’ve visited and used this space. My desire to journal ebbs and flows for a variety of reasons. But lately, all I can think about is writing down my thoughts.

I can honestly say the past year has changed me. (Can’t I say that about every year?) I am a different and stronger person than I was last year, both mentally and physically. I’ve also been through some pretty horrible times. I’ve had some great and wonderful times too.

My focus right now is on me and my family and finishing my degree. I feel more at peace with my present circumstances than I have in quite sometime. With that peace comes motivation and drive to be a productive contributor to every part of my life.

Random things update:

– Currently reading: Wheat Belly and The Brass Verdict

– Currently watching: I can honestly say I haven’t turned the TV on in over a week. By the time I get home at night I am ready to eat, crawl into bed, and read.

– Currently hoping: That the next few months come and go smoothly. That current circumstances I am in are temporary and will be distant memories this time next year.

– Currently feeling: hopeful, driven, peaceful…

– Currently excited about: becoming a fitness instructor again; kind of like journaling, my motivation for teaching fitness kind of fell to the wayside for a while, I’m happy to report it is back and better than ever

– Currently thinking: about my tasks to complete at work today, that I’m going to have a great workout this evening, and that things will happen exactly as they are meant to…no matter how out of control things may seem at times.

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Thursday Thoughts (What You Taught Me) 6/20/13

1. A week ago today my mentor passed away unexpectedly and very suddenly. The next few months are going to be hard. Who am I kidding? This is tough. Period. And it will never be quite right without him. He was a trusted friend, an advisor, and a support for me both personally and academically. I feel somewhat abandoned and lost right now. Sometimes I feel like he was the only person who really believed in me, more than myself even.

2. I feel like I’m slowly getting back to work since all that has happened last week. It’s not the same. But I go through the motions and sometimes I feel normal.

3. Life is precious. Live every moment. Don’t look down at your phone all of the time and be in another world, be in the moment, always.

4. Listen and learn from those around you. Especially the people you are close to. They have many, many important words of wisdom to share.

5. Try and think and DO with abandon. Never let someone tell you that you aren’t enough. You are.

6. Be patient. Don’t be in such a hurry. Everything will come in time and never a moment too late.

7. Laugh. Tell jokes, even if they seem silly. It’s good for the heart and soul.

8. Never start a meeting in too much of a business-like manner. Give the other person time to settle in, ask them about their day, ask them about their hobbies. Break the ice, then get down to business. There’s time enough for that, and it makes any meeting more comfortable.

9. Put stuff back where you got it from. No one will ever be able to use something if it’s not put back in its rightful place.

10. Know who to talk to when you need something. Know who holds the key to getting what you want and most importantly, know how to ask. It will get you far in this life.

11. Questions are not meant as an attack. Questions are usually merely asked in order to gain more information. Novel idea, right?

12. Don’t go too fast. Maintain a pace you’re comfortable with and that you can do until you’re 80 years old.

13. Respect the past. Acknowledge it and learn from it. And never forget what those who came before have done and what they have contributed to this world.

I hope I live up to all that you believed I could be.

Thursday Thoughts 6/13/13

1. Life is too short. Ya know those times when you’re in a hurry and you can’t seem to get out of the door fast enough? Slow down. Enjoy the moment. Let that friend ramble. Listen to what someone is saying. Live in the moment, because it might be the last one like it.

2. In limbo. I feel like I’m in sort of a “waiting limbo” on quite a few very serious things right now. I’m horrible at waiting. If anything, these tough times are teaching me to be a more patient person. And teaching me to be thankful for days when time seems to pass more slowly than others. That’s one more day I get.

3. This one is easier said than done, but fear is futile. And most of the time extremely counterproductive. You can’t fear what comes next, or you miss out on the present moment. And that, is something to be afraid of.

4. Appreciate the people in your life. Even when you disagree, go through a rough patch or when they’re in a bad mood. Appreciate them.

5. Be thankful. I don’t say how grateful I am quite enough. Don’t just assume you’re appreciative, say it, everyday. People notice.

Thursday Thoughts 5/30/13

1. Drank this jumbo margarita after running 4 miles last night. It was delicious and potent. That’s all I will say about that.

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2. I never thought I’d be able to run 4 miles like I did last night, and actually enjoy it. It wasn’t a fast run, but it wasn’t slow either. It was exhilarating and I felt STRONG.

3. Even though I worked half days on Sunday and Monday, I still am ready for the weekend. Four day work weeks aren’t all they’re made out to be.

4. Something exciting may be in the works for my living situation. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I’m going to be optimistic at least.

5. For reasons I can’t explain, I’m watching the last part of the HBO special, “Behind the Candelabra” and I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing…Matt Damon as a gay man is kind of weird–sorry, I mean really weird.

6. And just for kicks and giggles….

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This was me today… Thank goodness tomorrow is payday!

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Thursday Thoughts 5/23/13

1. I didn’t stop all day today. It was a great, exhilarating day. I don’t even mind.

2. Some days in grad school are about conquering fears, big and small. I feel like every experience up to this point has built on another. I’m more confident now than I was one month ago. But that confidence is only gained because I’ve been pushed, or pushed myself, out over a ledge. And when I don’t fall flat on my face, that’s a success, and when I do, still a success…

3. I’m so happy to be where I am right now. I don’t know if it’s renewed motivation or what, but I’m feeling good and more anxious than excited about what’s to come.

4. It was SO hot today! Summer has arrived.

5. Now I’m off to spend the rest of the evening watching Sex and the City reruns and sipping on some red wine before bed.

Thursday Thoughts 5/2/13

1. How is it not Friday yet? Seriously, this week is never-ending and slowly sucking the life out of me.

2. I’m having a birthday party tomorrow night and I’m so so so depressed that it’s raining. It was supposed to be outside, on my parents’ patio, but it has been raining since Tuesday and is not about to stop. Thank goodness for the margarita machine.

3. Something I’ve realized this week–my emotions about a situation are very dependent on how other people are feeling about it. For example, I have a really fun weekend ahead, complete with my birthday party and a crawfish boil, however due to the way others have been acting, I can’t get excited anymore. What’s that about?

4. Relationships are hard. Especially long-distance, long-term ones. Communication is hard too. And some days, it’s hard to not be selfish and just take care of me and what’s going on around me. I hope that’s kind of normal.

5. I’ll try to be more positive from now on.

6. We had fitness assessments yesterday for an 8 week bootcamp I’ve been participating in. To sum it up:

  • – metabolic age: 12 !!
  • – 3:17 minute plank (longest I’ve done yet)
  • – 7:47 mile run (it was tough)

7. Oh, and speaking of fitness achievements, here’s the results of my 5k last weekend. Not my best, but it was a fun race and I enjoyed every minute of it!

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8. Anyone else gonna miss this, now that it is actually May?

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I know I am.

Thursday Thoughts 4/25/13

1. Words can’t express how happy I am that tomorrow is FRIDAY. It’s time for a much needed break.

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2. I’m celebrating my 25th birthday next Friday with a gathering of all of my friends and family. It’s Cinco de Mayo themed (since I’m a May 5th baby) and I’m SO excited!!

3. And I really want one of these

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4. Running a 5k this weekend. It will likely be my last “official” one of the season because, damn, those things get expensive!

5. Great 15 miles on the bike this afternoon with a friend. I don’t usually have time to ride on weekdays, but in honor of finishing the first draft of my dissertation aims, I decided I could stand to leave work a little early and hit the trail.

6. I’m currently indulging in a little bit of Real Housewives of OC…ahhh trash reality TV, I can’t quit you!

 

Thursday Thoughts 4/18/13

1. Sometimes, when I’ve been listening to Pandora radio a lot, I’ll want to “like” songs when I’m listening to the regular radio, would be cool if it worked like that. #FirstWorldProblems

2. This drink: 1 oz Tanqueray Ten gin, juice of half a lemon and finish off with champagne….so good, but don’t have more than one! I learned that the hard way 🙂

3. Tuesday night, I had an impromptu sushi and wine date with my mom. It was fun and delicious:

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4. Meeting with my mentor today to go through the list of “ideas for my dissertation” that I’ve compiled over the past week…fingers crossed it’s productive.

5. I’ve been taking Luc on 30 minute strolls around the neighborhood when I get home this week. It so good for both of us. And yesterday, I didn’t want to come back to my house until my head was cleared.

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6. Today is my grandfather’s 80th birthday. I’m so blessed to know my grandparents, because I know there are many out there that never get the opportunity.

7. Excited for a fun weekend which includes, but is not limited to: a beerfest at the zoo tomorrow night and an engagement party for a dear friend Saturday. AND definitely some bike riding in the mix with this gorgeous spring weather.

Happy it’s Thursday!

 

Thursday Thoughts

1. I feel like I have been rushed every day this week. I guess this is a sign that I am over-scheduling myself. (But I have so much to do!!)

2. Bought new eye shadow from Bobbi Brown today and I’m really excited about it. Grad students don’t get to enjoy pretty things very often.

3. Luc had his ONE YEAR check-up at the vet today. I cannot believe it’s been an entire year! He clocked in at 63 lbs. and a clean bill of health 🙂

4. Did I mention I feel like I have too much on my plate? Because I think I do. I find myself wandering out of conversations with people because I Just. Don’t. Have. Time. To. Chat. That’s awful, I’m aware. I need to chill out.

5. Bf is coming to visit this weekend. And for the first time since I can remember, I’m not flustering around trying to clean and grocery shop and be perfect before he gets here. I don’t know why I ever did that to myself (Oh yes I do, because I’m a total Type A).

6. Headed out to enjoy some new-to-Mississippi beer tonight: CHIMAY!!! It’s the best, seriously, ya gotta try it.

7. Goal starting RIGHT NOW: Take my time doing things, FEEL the moment, and focus on the present….